Big Dog

Joined

• started 36 topics
• posted 1,481 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Big Dog

• 
  15

  Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter

  by Big Dog in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i thought this was funny, pretty much sums up my attitude.. ten rules for dating my daughter!.

  rule one: if you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

  rule two: you do not touch my daughter in front of me.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  Daughters of the dating age, a curse unto fathers. Its just so bad because we know exactly what the little rats are up to.
• 
  15

  Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter

  by Big Dog in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i thought this was funny, pretty much sums up my attitude.. ten rules for dating my daughter!.

  rule one: if you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

  rule two: you do not touch my daughter in front of me.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  I thought this was funny, pretty much sums up my attitude.

  Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter!Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
  
  Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
  
  Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
  
  Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
  
  Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
  
  Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
  
  Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the
  Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
  
  Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
  
  Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car.
  
  There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
• 
  15

  I'm livid & angry & sick!!!

  by mamochan13 in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i've finally had the opportunity to read the october 1, 2005 watchtower regarding education.

  even though this board had already prepared me for what i was going to be seeing, it still surprised me.

  i cannot believe that they are still demonizing post secondary education.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  There's another topic on a bethel sister that got some award, and is going to Columbia U in NY, who is pursuing a Law degree, paid for by WTS the donations sent to expand the worlwide work brainwashing, what hypocrisy, but they are saying JW children shouldn't get a higher education, what bull!

  Its like Orwell said, they are all pigs, just some pigs are more equal than others.
• 
  50

  What's the most controversial thing you ever did in Kingdom Hall?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember scanning real money and with photoshop pasting the picture of an elder on the bill over the face of the queen.

  then i printed many bills.

  it looked very real.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  Like 144's mine happened at home but I think it deserves honorable mention. A couple of elders stop by the house while I am still living at my parents and going to college. I was never baptized and hadn't been to a meeting in over a year at that time. They tell me that they want to talk about all the partying I am doing at school and so on. Then they tell me they asked my parents permssion to chat with me and told them everything they knew. I was incensed, I'm 20 years old and you are telling my mother what I am up to, upsetting the poor woman half to death, she thinks I'm bird food anyway.

  So, without further ado I tell them to get out, this conversation is over and to help them on their way I grab the one nimrod's briefcase and on the porch do a half discus half hammer throw move and send that mother sailing.

  I believe I hold the unofficial world record for the briefcase toss.
• 
  36

  I can't read the WT and AWAKE anymore

  by Jez in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hundreds of supplementary publications written by unnamed authors that can hide behind the watchtower and bible tract society and say anything without referencing it.

  lately, i have been thinking that this is one of the reasons that the society does not encourage higher education.

  try handing in an essay without your name on it, try not referencing your essay, try having no works cited, try to have only 1 works cited, try quoting out of context, try spewing statistics or numbers or trends in your essay with no reference or date, add ellipsis that only alert your instructor to the potential of hidden information, or try presenting as support for your thesis a third party quote.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  They are so frikin' purile... no substance... an easily dismantlable manipulative technique... fallacious argumentation... arghhh... I can't believe I didn't notice until I got myself an education.

  As has been said, it's almost impossible to even flick through them without your teeth being put on edge.

  Perfectly put. Occasionally when I am at one of my relatives houses I will pick one up out of some dark black humor compulsion and just silently freak out at what I am reading, or in case they are out of toilet paper.
• 
  29

  Is Discussing Jehovah's Witnesses Therapeutic For You???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it is for me.

  i find that when i tell a person exactly how witnesses think and why they believe in things the certain way they do, it feels good!

  listening to myself express the craziness of the religion makes me abhor their practices and mind control.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  More catharitic than therapeutic for me. Helps me get rid of the anger that I feel towards the WBTS. Give them a good beating and I feel better.
• 
  51

  Do Any Atheists Feel This Way?

  by Big Dog in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the atheists have done a pretty good job on me, i am just about to cast my lot in with them after all the reading and debating on the issue.

  they just seem to have all the answers and appear to hold the intellectual high ground, they do a good job of making one feel like a complete idiot for believing in a god, much less the christian version.

  so now that i am almost free of this delusional, magical thinking, religious burden of foolishly believing in a god and that there is anymore to life than what is right here how do i feel?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  Just wanted to say thanks again to everyone that responded to this thread, it meant alot and it gave me plenty to think about. GBL, Greendawn, Love, all of you, thanks! Just when I think i have a grip on things something flares up and messes with my equilimbrium.

  Life is pretty strange, so much of it is perspective, and the highs and lows, what an odd lot we have. Still trying to get my head around it, for the last 20 years I just didn't think about this stuff, it was school, marriage, family, build my practice and I just sort of went along with the flow not really giving things much thought. Then I stumble on this site and I say, hey, great, I'll chat with some ex-jw's, something I never have done in all my years since being out and I end up getting much more than I bargained for. Bunch of apostates get me thinking about a lot more than just how much I despise the borg, they get me thinking about everything.

  Damn the whole lot of you!!!!

  KLS, you asked if I think my loved ones were suffering, no, I never got into that end of it, but I hoped maybe they were someplace better, and hey, who knows, even if I do decided to disbelieve fully, still doesn't mean its not possible.
• 
  18

  Bird Flu

  by Crumpet in

  1. social
  2. current

  is anyone following the bird flu reports?

  the government in britain are officially preparing for 50,000 deaths in britain and unofficially 750,000.. .

  we have ordered vaccines but we are low down on the list for vaccines in europe because our government placed the order late.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  All I can think of are the Stephen King novels that dealt with flu epidemics, the Stand being the most popular. Talk about a possible prophet, scares the heck out of me.
• 
  18

  Hello to all, and thanks for your kindness...

  by james_woods in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  james here; exjw for about 25 years.

  was "in" from 1963 to 1980 due to parental "guidance" beyond my own good sense.. have been to elder school, bethel, wthq, etc..., knew many of franz heretics in the mid-late 70 trouble from oklahoma city.. have many silly stories to offer...but for now just will say this - .

  if your "god" was really going to come down here and kill everybody on earth except for the wt people who the society liked, would you not stand up to fly the first fighter jet against such a horrible alien?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  Welcome James, can't wait to hear the stories you have to tell. Don't be shy, tell all!
• 
  47

  Im new

  by g_cuddles in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  is there anyone here who actually support jws or is everyone disassociated?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Big Dog

  Welcome to the forum! There are some that are still active and pro organization here, their names escape me at the moment but I'm sure someone else can supply them for you.